✌ Democratic management of the Government and Legislative branches…on the similar time!
✌ A First Girl whose resting face isn’t a creepy sneer-scowl hybrid and who does not put on clothes boasting of the truth that she does not care
✌ Membership within the Paris Local weather Accord and respect for our NATO allies
✌ A press secretary who tells the reality
✌ 15-flush bathrooms
✌ Senate Committee chairwomen and males with a ‘D” after their identify
✌ The nuclear launch codes within the possession of a steady individual
✌ POTUS and FLOTUS attending the Kennedy Heart Honors once more
✌ An impartial Justice Division
✌ Canine—and a cat—operating across the White Home
✌ Simply getting shit achieved
And now, our characteristic presentation…
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, January 13, 2021
Word: At the moment is Wednesday the thirteenth. No want for any particular precautions, nevertheless it’s pretty much as good a day as any to take a couple of minutes to check out the situation of the porn assortment in your panic room. Bear in mind: mildew is not your pal. —Clarence Thomas
By the Numbers:
Weeks ’til inauguration day: One!!!
Days ’til the Perseverance rover lands on Mars: 36
% of People polled by Gallup who describe themselves as “completely” conservative, reasonable, and liberal: 36%, 35%, 25%
% of People polled by ABC Information-Ipsos who blame Trump for final Wednesday’s coup try: 67%
Trump job approval within the new Quinnipiac ballot: 33%
Variety of jobs misplaced in December, through the Labor Division’s newest report of the Trump presidency: -140,000
% likelihood that GM’s new logo is designed to attract consideration to its new deal with electrical automobiles: 100%
Mid-week Rapture Index: 184 (together with 4 false prophets and 1 important point for the seditionists by God). Soul Safety Issue 24 lotion is really useful should you’ll be strolling amongst the heathen right this moment.
Pet Pic of the Day: I think we have a quorum…
CHEERS to 1 week and counting. In seven days, Joe Biden will change into our 46thpresident. Time to interrupt out the inaugural fun facts:
» John Quincy Adams was the primary president sworn in carrying lengthy trousers (1825).
» Abraham Lincoln was the primary to incorporate African-People in his parade (1865). Ladies have been included for the primary time in Woodrow Wilson’s second inaugural parade (1917).
» Neither Theodore Roosevelt nor John Quincy Adams swore their oath on a Bible.
» Jimmy Carter’s inaugural parade featured photo voltaic warmth for the reviewing stand and handicap-accessible viewing (1977).
» Ronald Reagan’s second inaugural needed to compete with Tremendous Bowl Sunday (1985).
» The primary ceremony broadcast on the Web was Invoice Clinton’s second inauguration (1997).
» Four retiring presidents haven’t attended the inaugurations of their successors. Those that have been absent: John Adams missed Thomas Jefferson’s inaugural. John Quincy Adams was not current at Andrew Jackson’s. Andrew Johnson was not at Ulysses Grant’s ceremony. Richard Nixon was not current at Gerald Ford’s inaugural. [Trump will be #5 when he snubs Joe Biden’s swearing-in.]
And this is some hopeful information: we’re now shut sufficient that we will examine the Inauguration Day climate forecast for DC. (The historic stats are right here at the National Weather Service.) It could not be extra symbolic, based on The Climate Channel: morning clouds giving approach to afternoon sunshine, with a warmer-than-usual excessive of 45. Or as we name it in Maine: shorts climate.
CHEERS to impeachment day. At the moment is impeachment day. The president goes to be impeached. He’s a nasty president. He tried to change into a dictator. He can’t be one. The Finish.
JEERS to pissing your life away. Sheldon Adelson was born of humble roots in Boston 87 years in the past. Then he changed into a greed-obsessed right-wing scumbag…the epitome of the bubble-protected billionaire ($33 billion to be actual) for whom the world was a private playground to be exploited irrespective of how many individuals obtained damage. Exhibit A: the numerous women and men his casinos lured in and changed into playing addicts. Plus…
☹ He and his spouse Miriam Adelson have been Donald Trump‘s largest donors; they supplied the most important donation to Trump’s 2016 marketing campaign, his presidential inauguration, his protection fund towards the Mueller investigation into Russian interference, and the 2020 marketing campaign.
☹ Adelson’s newspaper, the Las Vegas Overview-Journal, was the one main newspaper nationwide to endorse Trump in 2016
☹ Deutsche Welle reported that he was one of many largest backers of a hard-right fringe community selling Islamophobia.
☹ Haaretz wrote that Adelson had “hijacked” the Israeli-American Council to show it right into a stress group for his “hard-right agenda.”
☹ On Iran‘s suspected nuclear weapons program he mentioned: “You choose up your cellphone and also you name someplace in Nebraska and also you say ‘OK, let it go’ and so there’s an atomic weapon goes over, ballistic missiles in the course of the desert that does not damage a soul, perhaps a few rattlesnakes and scorpions or no matter.”
☹ In February 2013 the Las Vegas Sands, in a regulatory submitting, acknowledged that it had doubtless violated federal legislation that prohibits the bribing of overseas officers. Allegedly, Chinese language officers have been bribed to permit Adelson to construct his Macau on line casino.
Effectively, he’s dead now. I might guess cash his journey to the afterlife will contain taking the ‘Down’ elevator. However, darn it, I’ve this dumb rule about saying one thing good in regards to the lately departed. So right here goes: he was as soon as a sweet vendor. Ah, the banality of evil.
BRIEF SANITY BREAK (NSFW)
END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
JEERS to unusual reactions. Maine‘s senior senator Susan Collins says that the first thought that popped into her noggin final Wednesday afternoon, when the revolt started, was that “the Iranians had adopted by means of on their menace to strike the Capitol.” Wow—that is like leaping from A to Z in a single sure whereas skipping B by means of Y. However, to be honest, I can truly perceive why she’d suppose that and get confused. In spite of everything, the Republican terrorists’ actions have been screaming “Loss of life to America.”
CHEERS to discus lite. Wham-O started producing the “Frisbee” 64 years in the past right this moment. Ever surprise where the name comes from?
The Frisbie Baking Firm (1871-1958) of Bridgeport, Connecticut, made pies that have been offered to many New England schools. Hungry faculty college students quickly found that the empty pie tins might be tossed and caught, offering infinite hours of sport and sport.
Many schools have claimed to be the house of ‘he who was first to fling.’ Yale Faculty has even argued that in 1820, a Yale undergraduate named Elihu Frisbie grabbed a passing assortment tray from the chapel and flung it out into the campus, thereby changing into the true inventor of the Frisbie and successful glory for Yale. That story is unlikely to be true for the reason that phrases ‘Frisbie’s Pies’ was embossed in all the unique pie tins and from the phrase ‘Frisbie’ was coined the frequent identify for the toy.
Frisbees remind me of the Republican celebration: Light-weight, logic as contorted as a no-look reverse-flick backhanded corkscrew air bounce, and the one factor maintaining them aloft is spin.
Ten years in the past in C&J: January 13, 2011
JEERS to odd departures. A Republican district chairman in Arizona is calling it quits due to vitriol coming from his personal facet. In saying his choice, Anthony Miller cited “threats from the Tea Celebration,” a bunch that apparently does not discover him radical or irrational sufficient for his or her liking. Miller says he needs to spend extra time together with his household. Alive. [1/13/21 Update: A reminder that the GOP has been the party of violent whackadoos, who have no problem threatening their own leaders, for a long time.]
And only one extra…
CHEERS to naming rights. Misplaced in all of the hoopla about trivial points like—[Reads notes off hand]—World Struggle III, the immolation of Planet Earth, and Republicans’ ongoing effort to throw America into the bathroom and flush 15 instances, is probably the most urgent difficulty of our technology: what mother and father are naming their spawn, in fact. So enable me, through babycenter.com, to terminate the suspense: the preferred boy names of 2020 have been Liam, Noah, Jackson and Aiden. Prime lady names have been Sophia, Olivia, Riley, and Emma. I went by means of a interval of confusion after I was younger, due to my mother and pop. For the primary eighteen years of my life I assumed my final identify was Billy and my first identify was Dammit.
Have a cheerful humpday. Ground’s open…What are you cheering and jeering about right this moment?
At the moment’s Shameless C&J Testimonial
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